We'd like to dedicate this song to all sorts of verminous scoundrels, but we'll settle for just dedicating it to John Laws. You've got to feel for poor old golden turd, though. When you have to struggle by on a mere $13 million a year, you need to do anything you can to pick up the extra million or two.

Money and Fame

by Peter Hicks and Geoff Francis

I can sing you a song about anything that's wrong
Anywhere in the world today,
I can sing about peace and cutting down trees
And "Down with the USA!"
I could go so far, I could be a star,
There's just two things stopping me still -
They won't give me a play on that Triple J
And I can't get a sponsorship deal.

Money and fame, oh fame and money,
Won't you please put some my way?
Be my benefactor and
I'll do anything you say!

I wrote a song about the banks, that their profits stank
And I sent it to John Laws.
I thought I'd be right 'cos he's on the side
Of the battler and the poor.
But I was on the wrong tack 'cos he sent it back
By courier the very next day.
This very short note with his hand he wrote,
It said, "Weasel! Go away!"

Chorus

I've got a song for Jabiluka, says we don't want nuclear
'Cos uranium makes you ill.
Thought I couldn't do better than to send it with a letter
To Senator Robert Hill.
I wouldn't tell you lies but he must be wise
'Cos our environment he rules.
But his reply I read - it simply said:
"Do you take me for a fool?"

Chorus

I wrote a song about tax, it was full of facts
So I sent it to John Howard.
When I read his reply it made me cry,
And my faith in him was soured.
I said it seems to me that your GST
Is something to be feared -
It'll take from the poor and give to the rich -
He said, "That's the whole idea!"

Chorus

I wrote a song and a dance saying "Let's give a chance
"To peace instead of war."
I thought that President Bill would sure be thrilled
When my little song he saw.
I was quite surprised when I realised
That he thought I was making a joke,
"If I do as you say in a hundred days
"Our economy would go broke!"

Chorus x 2

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