This memorable classic from Ewan McCall cuts straight to the heart of the role of law in our society.

Legal Illegal

by Ewan McCall

Every time you pick up the newspaper,
Every time you switch on the T.V.,
You can bet your old boots that at some point you'll see,
A high ranking copper or else an M.P.
Calling on all who are British and Free,
To stand up and defend law and order.

It's illegal to rip off a payroll,
It's illegal to hold up a train,
But it's legal to rip off a million or two,
That comes from the labour that other folk do,
To plunder the many on behalf of the few,
Is a thing that is perfectly legal.

If you fashion a bomb in the kitchen,
You're guilty of breaking the law,
But a bloody great nuclear plant is O.K.,
Though plutonium processing hastens the day,
This tight little isle will be blasted away,
Nonetheless it is perfectly legal.

It's illegal if you are a gypsy,
To camp by the side of the road,
But it's proper and right for the rich and the great,
To live in a mansion or own an estate,
That was got from the people by pillage and rape,
That is what they call a tradition.

It's illegal to carve up your missus,
Or put poison in your old man's tea,
But Poisson the river's the seas and the skies,
Or poison the minds of a nation with lies,
If it's done in the interests of free enterprise,
Then it's perfectly properly legal.

It's legal to join a trade union,
And to picket is one of your rights,
But don't be offensive when scabs cross the line,
Be nice to the coppers and bear this in mind,
To picket effectively that is the crime,
Worse than if you had murdered your mother.

Well it's legal to sing on the Tele,
But they make bloody sure that you don't,
If you sing about racists and fascists and creeps,
And thieves in high places who live off the week,
Or those who are selling us right down the creek,
The twisters, the takers, the conmen, the fakers,
The whole bloody gang of exploiters.

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